Beastal Paradise: help children survive the loss of a pet

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Children are very much attached to domestic animals, and are deeply worried about their death. Even harder if the child feels his guilt: “I didn’t watch”, “he let go in vain from a leash”. How to help children cope with this?

The older my children become, the more difficult it is for me to talk to them about death. The death of animals is no exception. Our first dog, a friendly adhesive tape, has never bitten anyone, but died of someone else’s hatred: he ate a tossed poison on the street. My husband and I were away, the children stayed with a nanny and grandmother. The eldest son of 14 years old was walking with a dog that day. He did not particularly discuss what happened. And three months later, during an illness, he suddenly painted a picture, which he did not do from early childhood: our tape on the background of grass and flowers.

A lot of time has passed before we decided on a new dog. Also tape, courageous, like a true Scot, Ronnie did not realize his small size and was eager for battle with each oncoming male. His sworn enemy – a huge Alabai – lived in the next courtyard behind a high fence. Ronnie was already ten, he did not pay attention to snakes, hedgehogs and cats, but he http://www.excellentglobaltrip.com/goa-tour/ ran up to the cherished fence at every opportunity.

One evening, the children let him go to run, and he put his nose under the fence. and received from Alabay, I had to operate the jaw. And then he was bitten by an infected tick – in winter! The weakened organism failed. The younger children were 10 and 12, and again I was not nearby, which I could not forgive for myself.

And now they had to somehow talk with the children about Ronnie, but they did not really want to say: they were afraid to admit that they had lowered him from the leash for some game, accused each other. The youngest was easier to contact, but the necessary words did not come with her son. Until their secret, grown to unimaginable sizes, has grown up-at some of the evenings, suddenly, with shouts and tears: “It is you! No you! Tell them! No, I don’t want, you say!»

“Even before the marriage, I had an abortion from another. Do my husband need to tell?»

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Before marriage, I had an abortion from another man. I am married for 4 years, but I didn’t say anything about this to my husband. I often think about telling the truth, it torments me, interferes with living. I’m scared to say, but it’s hard to be silent. What to do

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I would recommend you, Tamara, to go to a psychologist and try to figure out that you really are oppressed. Try the lump of energy that is inside you, divide into pieces.

About what this severity? About the fact that you want to be honest with your man, that, without telling, you are deceiving him? Then this is one story. And perhaps a conversation with your husband would help you allow this difficult situation. But I will not be surprised if the cause of your complex state is not at all in relationships and dishonesty.

Maybe this is guilty to the child? Or something else. And when you deal with this with a specialist, after that you will make a decision: do I still want to talk to my partner? Or there is no longer need, I was released. Speaking or not is always a difficult choice.

There is such an exercise – the square of Descartes. Divide the sheet into 4 parts. In one square we write: «What will I get if I say». In the second: «What will I get if I do not say». In the third: “What will I lose if I say”, in the fourth: “What will I lose if I do not say”. And in them you write down everything that comes to mind. A visual way to weigh the pros and cons, which will help to decide whether you need to tell you or not.